“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface but paddling like the dickens underneath.”

~Michael Caine

Monday, September 20, 2010

We're off to see the wizard...

...the wonderful wizard of...WTF?!?

They made me stop in my tracks.  The moment I saw them, I was drawn into the gravitational pull of their awesomness.  That's when it started...

Right Brain: "Oh my gosh. Aren't these beauuuutiful?!"

Left Brain: "Yeah, yeah...they're shiny and red and pretty. Keep walking."

Right Brain: "No, I have to touch them."

Left Brain: "No, keep walking."

Right Brain: "Come on, I just wanna get a closer look."

Left Brain: "You need another pair of red shoes like you need a hole in the head."

Right Brain: "Oh, but these are so much more shiny and sparkly than the ones I have."

Left Brain: "You don't NEED red shoes.  You need brown or beige ones.  For the wedding that you are going to next weekend...remember?"

Right Brain: "But these are so much more exciting than BORING brown or BLAND beige. Besides, you wouldn't let me get the RED dress that I wanted for the wedding."

Left Brain: "Remember what happened last time you wore a RED dress to a friends wedding?"

Right Brain: {sigh} "I know, I know...that's why I let you talk me in to the dreary, lifeless thing on the hanger in the closet."

Left Brain: "Seeeee...now let's go. I'm hungry."

Right Brain: "Shut up, I'm just looking." {turns shoe over to look at the price}

Left Brain: {audible gasp} "$300?!?"

Right Brain: "Yeah but it's Stuie."

Left Brain: "Who?"

Right Brain: "Stuart Weitzman."

Left Brain: "Stuart Who? Who is that?"

Right Brain: "You know, Stuart Weitzman. The shoe designer that has a magical ability to make the shoes that we, {scoff} I mean...I dream about at night!"

Left Brain: "You don't need to spend $300 on shoes that will make you look like the second coming of Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. You have nothing to wear them with anyway."

Right Brain: "So what, they're beauuuutiful."

Left Brain: "Put the shoe down. What would Ty say?"

Right Brain: "Who?"

Left Brain: "Ty, you know...YOUR HUSBAND, the father of your children. What do you think he would say if you spent $300 on red shoes that go with nothing in your closet."

Right Brain: {sigh of defeat}"Oh...yeah. Gosh, don't you have anything better to do than crushing my dreams?"

Left Brain: "When's the last time you wore heels anyway? Like what...a year ago? Forget it. Just put the shoe down and walk away."

Right Brain:  {puts the shoe down}"Ugh...fine."

Left Brain: "You'll thank me later."

Right Brain: "Whatever."


Ian said...

I do believe Ty would say to that: "Brittany, my love, that was very clever, funny and well-written, and I demand you rush to the store tomorrow and buy yourself those shoes as a reward!!"

Mama Duck said...

Thanks Ian. But, the only way I'm gettin those shoes is if I find them used at a garage sale.

beebee said...

I don't know from where it came but, I am sure this is a genetic problem. You have been this way since you were old enough to wear shoes.

Anonymous said...

I admire your restraint. Ty is probably the only person with the ability to destroy the shoe shopping expertise I shared with you. But they were a tempting pair of shoes! Console yourself with a decadent morsel of chocolate. Believe me I know it works! 143