“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface but paddling like the dickens underneath.”

~Michael Caine

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Much ado about a mess...

Monday, I began the process of baking for the wedding that I'm making a cake for this coming Saturday. I'd already made one layer and wanted to work on the strawberry buttercream. Making this recipe is kind of involved. It requires pureeing a pint of strawberries with 2 tablespoons of sugar and then cooking it over low heat until it is reduced to 1/4 cup of syrup. While this was cooking, I started putting the ingredients together for the next cake layer. I didn't feel that the strawberry reduction needed constant supervision as it was on low and I was checking it every few minutes. I had my back to the stove while I was mixing the wet ingredients for the cake with my hand mixer. Ty was putting away the dishes when he glanced over in my direction and calmly said "You're making a mess." I looked down to notice that not only was I NOT making a mess, I had done an unusually good job of keeping all of the ingredients in the mixing bowl. So I looked up at him and said "What mess?". His non verbal response was to chin point to the stove where my strawberry puree was supposed to be slowly reducing. "OH NO!" I yelled. It was boiling over. Darn it! So in an irritated tone I said "Why didn't you say so?!?". He said "I did. I told you that you were making a mess.". Then the argument ensued. I said "Why do you have to make it so difficult?" After complaining about the way he chose to direct my attention to the mess he said "It's 6 o'clock, I'm not talking to you till 6 thirty."
Fine. I figured I needed time to cool off anyway.

Our friends asked us if we wanted to go out for dinner at Chili's. On the way there the clock in the car changed from 6:29 to 6:30. The first thing he asks me is "What are you playing?". I was typing out my thoughts on my phone in the notepad app. I answered "I'm not playing anything.". He obviously thought I was playing a game on my phone. Anyway, I apologized for snapping at him and said "I am not excusing the way I reacted to your statement. But, sometimes I get frustrated in the way you say things in that it makes it so incredibly difficult to talk to you."
He replies with "What should I have said?". I answer "You could've said, 'Your pot is boiling over.'". He says "I didn't see that it was boiling. I saw that you were making a mess.". Then I say, "Or you could've said 'Your pot is bubbling over.'" He says "I didn't see any bubbles. I saw that you were making a mess."
Arrrrgggghhh! Do you see how he makes me work for the pleasure of having a conversation with him? Then I finally say, "You could've said 'Your pot on the stove is making a mess.'You could've been more specific."

As I type this out the whole thing seems silly. I love him and don't want him to change his ways just because I don't understand why he does it or because they frustrate me. But, for goodness sakes, sometimes it DOES get frustrating. This is just one example of how he makes me work for it. I'm not exactly sure why but, damn it, I sure do love him.

By the way, everything was fine. No one stayed angry. He went to see the new Transformers movie with his Nerd Herd last night...AT MIDNIGHT. Needless to say, I didn't sleep well. I never do when he's gone.

DISCLAIMER: This exchange of events is reported from my memory only. Other parties involved were not available to give their statement of accounts. Accuracy cannot be guaranteed.


beebee said...

One cannot appreciate intense happiness without experiencing intense frustration. It's kinda like the weather; you never appreciate the sun until it's been raining for a week.

Roskoe P said...

Nerd Herd: 1, Angry Brit who doesnt understand how men communicate: ZERO.

Anonymous said...

Very enjoyable post! This is EXACTLY how I feel about Travis sometimes. He and Ty are totally two peas in a pad. But, as you say, it is worth it.